wiersz/ nie posiada tytulu.

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wiersz/ nie posiada tytulu.

Postprzez Niya17 » 12 cze 2009, 22:46

Hej ;) to mój debiucik, mam nadzieje, ze sie spodoba =] dobra krytyka jak i pochwaly mile widziane ^^'

zycze milego czytania :) i zapraszam

You gave him to me. He was
a gift from you. For me.
But you?re not here now- you can?t be.

You?re dead.

That man, he forced you to keep
that in secret. Why? Please,
I don?t understand. He knew
you?re pregnant. And you promised
you won?t tell. Tear.

War. Fifteen years passed.
He didn?t know he should have
stayed. He didn?t know he?s mine.

Dreams of home. Family. What
is home? No, not a building. It?s
love- what is love? No one showed me
how to love. No one has taught me.

Is that some kind of happiness,
or warm inside you? I don?t
know. No one has told me. Pain.
Bleeding heart. Dry emptiness.

Letter. From you. First in my
life. So he?s my Father?
Why now? Why not fifteen years
earlier? Tears. Oh mum? I
wish you?re here- but you can?t be.

I met him. My heart beating. My
Father? For me? Hope. For what?
My dream. He?s here.

I?m scared. Single words. Manners
Sit straight. Head up. Don?t run.

Yes, Father. I turn my head
away to hide my face. He can?t
see my deep pain. Marianas Trench.

I can?t love him. I don?t know
what it is. Sorry. Is that the price for my dream? Is that a
price for my Father?

Cold commands. Perfect soldier. Me.
My sorrow.

No. Please.

Can I call you a dad in my mind?
White face. Your eyes. Empty.

I won?t give myself any hope. I
don?t want to be disappointed. No.
Perfect dream. Priceless price.

Sad happiness.

Your indifference.

Why are you keeping me here? Is
that your feeling of responsibility, Father?
Like a soldier?s duty to obey orders?


You?re killing me.

Say one word. One. And
I will go. Just one, Father.



A teraz dodaje króka annotacje i interpretacje wiersza :)

It is a dramatic monologue by a fifteen year old boy.

In the first stanza the boy is talking directly to his dead mother.

In the second stanza he tells her that when she was young and she became pregnant a man forced her to keep that pregnancy in secret from her husband. That was because that man wanted him to go for war and he didn't want him to stay with a child. And she agreed.

Next stanza tells us a little bit more about what's happening - the war; and we've got the age of the boy - "fifteen years passed". We know that he's still talking to his mother. He says that his father went because he didn't know he's got a child.

Dreams of home. Family. What
is home? No, not a building. It?s
love- what is love? No one showed me
how to love. No one has taught me.

Is that some kind of happiness,
or warm inside you? I don?t
know. No one has told me. Pain.
Bleeding heart. Dry emptiness.

These two stanzas give us information about the boy himself. We suspect that he's an orphan living in a orphanage and no one really cares and looks after him.

Then we realize why he is talking to his dead mother - because he read a letter from her. From his mother (may be she left it to her friend to give it to the boy before she died). And he finds out about the situation with his father (as he said that earlier). There is a moment when he talks to her in some kind of regret that because of that man he didn't have a normal childhood.

Next stanza shows us how he feels when he meets his father; his excitement, hope, happiness. His one, true, best dream. But then the reality is not so colorful. His father, who didn't even know about his son, must meet him and look after him, now. He doesn't know how to do it because he was a soldier for many years. The only thing he knows is simple commands. And the boy says that.

To hide his sad feelings: sorrow and pain, of the behavior of his father, he turns his head and answers simply. We can notice the lack of deeper feelings between them by the boy's answer- "Yes Father". The word "Father" is straight and formal (exactly like he himself- "perfect soldier"). The "Marianas Trench" is a metaphor, which emphasizes the "deep pain" of the boy.

Later on, he tells his mother that he is unable to love him that he doesn?t know how. And he asks are these things a price for his best dream, which just came true ? the price for his father? His ?Cold commands?.

There is used a caesura ?Perfect soldier. Me.? It separates the father and the son and highlights the different identities. It shows that despite they are a family; there is still a great distance between them.

Now, he asks himself can he call his father a ?dad? in his mind, but he doesn?t ask him directly. This is a rhetorical question. ?White face? is like a poker face ? no feelings. ?Your eyes. Empty? represents also a lack of feelings.

In next stanza, the boy says that to be not disappointed later, he won?t keep that feeling of hope for a perfect home and love. And again a caesura is used ?Perfect dream. Priceless price? to highlight the boy?s dream and the price he has to pay for it. There is also used an oxymoron ?Priceless price? to show that the price for his father ? for the dream he pays (his indifference) is priceless. It is such a pain when our dream comes true and we can meet our father and hope everything is going to be fine, but we find out that we?ve overestimated it.

Next oxymoron ?Sad happiness? shows that yes, he?s got his father now, but he cannot be really happy and he finds himself a bit disappointed.

Now, he?s talking directly to his father and he asks him why and what?s the reason of keeping him? Rhetorical questions answers at the same time.

He tells him that he kills his son because of that. That is will be better for him not to have a father at all that has him not to be able to love him. So he tells him ?Say one word. One. And / I will go. Just one, Father.? That word is ?go? probably.

The word ?Dad? at the end shows that he still misses a true family, home and love from his parents.

- Je desires le tout papa? le tout du vous...
- Mon Dieu!
Posty: 6
Dołączył(a): 12 cze 2009, 16:53

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